After I made my last post about having to chug the colon blow, I started puking it back up. My kind doctor returned my phone call immediately and told me to stop drinking it. When I poured it down the drain, I cheered out loud and giggled. Happy days, truly.
I went to the hospital bright and early Friday morning. I was told to be there at 6:45 a.m., but found out that I wasn't scheduled until 7:30 a.m. That's okay.
The hospital, which I normally love, wouldn't let my husband walk back with me. Neither of us were happy. I asked for him to be with me when they started the IV, and the nurse declined. I wasn't happy. I've had five IV's, all of which he is standing with me holding my hand...not Friday. Instead, Nurse Grumbly did it and I braced myself. Five minutes into the IV, and my arm swells up in a big lump. I said, "Ok, something is wrong here!" It looked like an egg was going to pop through my skin - and I wasn't too happy. I started freaking out, and came darn near close to pulling the thing out of my arm myself. She removed it after an eternity passed, and another nurse came in to start another IV in my other arm. Technically, she put it in my hand. So guess what? I had two IVs that day. Joy.
As soon as the IV was placed and they were satisifed that it wasn't going to infiltrate (push fluids into my skin rather than the vein), Nurse Grumbly became my best friend. She started with a little dose of phenergan, which was for my nauseated reaction to anesthesia. No problem. Then, a dose of demerol. Probably a minute after the demerol was injected, I started smiling and could not make myself stop. I thought to myself, Yes, THIS is the part I have been waiting for. Then, another dose of phenergan. Another dose of demerol. My speech started to slur. "Whassss that wunnnnn nowwwwww?" I asked the nurse. "This is versed, it's what will put you out." Versed, oh yes, my friend Jenelle told me about this wonderful drug...I'll remember to thank her...my body was now feeling very heavy on the little bed, and I was suddenly cozy. I started looking at the monitor to evaluate my blood pressure. Hmmm...my sats were at 100% which I found amazing since I had a chest cold...that's all I remember, because Nurse Beautiful and Most Precious Woman dosed me up again, and the next thing I remember is grunting, "Owwwww...owwwww...owwww...." when I felt the roto rooter on my insides. My wonderful doctor told the awesome nurse something about "give her more" or some great news like that, and I was done. I felt Nurse not-so-great now rub me on the arm and say, "It's all over, you did great!" Then I was asleep again.
Someone parked me in recovery, where the former cheerleader (aka recovery nurse) came to wake me. Her blond hair, and white teeth, and peppy remarks were too much. "I need you to roll over on your back for me, okay?" I pried my bleary eyes open and saw those huge blue eyes looking at me. INo, lady, it's NOT okay. I have three kids between the ages of two and four, and I want to sleep! GO AWAY! But it was easier to roll over on my back than it was to talk, so I obliged. I felt some gas pains when I rolled over, but I rubbed my tummy briefly and they were gone. I asked for my husband, and was told, "Well, there are so many patients back here, it's just not you, so he can't due to privacy restrictions. Yeah, that sucks. That poor man wants to see his wife. I thought about complaining, but I was so tired. I closed my eyes again. Nurse Peppy came back with some ice. "Here, I'll raise your bed." No, lady, seriously, do NOT come over here. Shut the curtain, go back to whatever hole you came out of, leave me alone. She cranked my bed up and gave me a cup with ice and a spoon. I don't recall telling her I was thirsty. I don't recall telling her anything...so I held the ice and went back to sleep. She was back. "Are you awake in here?" I wasn't, until you disturbed me, hmmmm...how many times? I want to see my husband. I knew he was probably furious, because the clock said something like 9:30, and he had been waiting out there for more than two hours. She informed me that there was a tube in my rear end that she needed to remove. I was too drugged to be horrified. It made a little whoopy cushion noise when she took it out, and it was no big deal whatsoever. I didn't care. I was kind of hoping for a big orchestra woodwind section sound, just to give the nurse a thrill for her day. Nurse Peppy handed me my bag, and said, "Let's get you dressed." Only she walked out of the little curtained area, and left me to get dressed on my own. I thought about sitting there half naked until she came back, but I didn't want to scare the other patients...so I pulled my dress over my head. The whole reason I wore a dress is so my husband could help me get dressed easily. Now, I was sitting in a chair in recovery doing it all by myself while Nurse Peppy asked the patient next to me, "Mrs. Whoever, can you roll over on your back for me?"
Somebody put me in a wheelchair and took me to the front of the recovery room, where I saw my precious husband holding my red purse. He looked none too happy. I must have sat there for all eternity, waiting, and waiting, and waiting...and somebody finally came and wheeled me down to the car. Finally.
I don't remember getting home, but DH helped me to the bed. I don't remember much of anything else. I woke up at 4:30 that afternoon, was back in bed around 6-7 and by 2 a.m., I was wide awake. I did lose four pounds after the procedure, though.
In all, I learned that demerol, phenergan, and versed are a sort of wonderful trinity. I wouldn't say holy trinity, but they are certainly wonderful. The sleep was a welcome relief, and I woke up without red eyes and purple bags under them.
And it's all over.
